Recently at a family gathering I was chatting up with my cousin about how the kids sleep with us in our room at night even though its hard at times as they still don’t sleep through the night. That’s when one of my aunts jumped into the conversation to advice me that I shouldn’t let the kids sleep in our room and it’s so bad for the kids as they won’t be independent and a lot of other issues. Being a byproduct of co-sleeping myself I did not think much into it when my kids were born.
Before my twin boys were born I didn’t think about how their sleeping arrangement would be and I also didn’t read about the advantages or disadvantages of co-sleeping. I always knew that they would be sleeping with us. I just did and continued doing what I felt was right for me and my children. There is a lot of debate on co-sleeping with your child but I just felt like I needed them close to me at night so I went with my instinct.
What I really don’t understand is why do others feel the need to judge parents on every decision they make. I’m not judging parents who don’t sleep with their babies. I can imagine how hard it must be for parents to teach their new born to sleep alone. Standing outside the door making sure the baby is safe and sleeping soundly.
Co-sleeping with a single baby at night must be hard enough but co-sleeping with twins is whole new ballgame! This blog is not going to talk about the pros or cons of each or I’m not saying what you are doing is wrong. It’s purely about what worked for me. I’ve had my boys sleeping with me from day one. It has not been easy but it is definitely something I’ll cherish forever. It might be a cultural thing also, as in most of the Indian sub continent co-sleeping is a very natural thing.
“90% of the world’s mothers co-sleep their way to better nights and stronger bonds with their babies.“
A lot of people have many different concerns about co-sleeping, such as its not safe or its not good for the baby’s emotional growth, it wont make them independent but in fact co-sleeping to me seems like the most natural thing to do. As adults also we don’t like to sleep alone and prefer to cuddle with our loved ones, so how is it not natural for a baby to want to be next to someone they love.
So I thought why not mention some of the advantages I’ve had co-sleeping with my twins and maybe it can help some new parents decide what they would like to do.
Easier to Feed
When the boys were new born and would need to be fed almost every 2 hours, it was so much easier for me to have them right next to me. I did not need to wait for them to cry to know when they were hungry. For me co-sleeping worked great as it was so much easier to nurse them before they were fully awake and all of us would go back to sleep faster. Feeding one baby is hard enough, imagine two!
Bonding with Parents
I feel co-sleeping creates a much more positive connection with the kids. With their father being so busy with his work most of the days this is the time they get to spend together and bond with each other. I love all the cuddles and kisses I get before they sleep and when they wake up. I really wouldn’t have had it any other way. Besides its not like they are going to be sleeping with us until they go to college!
Less Night Time Crying
I also realized that the boys would cry less if they were sleeping next to us. There were no constant protests of not wanting to get into the cot. I could also monitor their slightest movement and soothe them back to sleep before their sleep got disturbed. And the best part is there were no fights about who has to go and check on the babies!
Peaceful Sleep for Mom
When the boys are sleeping with us I used have a peace of mind knowing that they were doing absolutely fine. Also, they used to fall sick very often up until 2-3 months ago and it is so much easier to take care of them when they are right next to me.
Also in case you didn’t already know mamas also release oxytocin when close to their babies. Oxytocin improves sleep quality and it’s also great for breastfeeding.
Of course it also goes without saying that you should definitely be careful about having a baby sleeping in with you in your bed and take all the precautionary measures. Here is a link to safe co sleeping guidelines.
After a couple of months when they were around 8 months old, both the boys started to develop different sleeping patterns during the night and so I had to separate them into different rooms as they would keep waking each other up. At this stage one would sleep next to us in their cot and the other one would sleep with their grandparent. One of the other reasons I did not want to keep the boys together at night was that when one would wake up then definitely it would disturb the other baby’s sleep. This way we could at least manage a little bit of sleep each night.
I’ll definitely say it has not been an easy ride. There have been some pretty rough days where we haven’t slept for days in a row especially when both the boys fall sick at the same time (which is almost every other month) and I have to keep running between both the rooms for the entire night.
Having said that now that they are 2.5 years old I feel they are ready to move into their own room. In a couple of weeks I’ll be decorating their room for them to move into their new crib! Hopefully it should go smoothly and they both would not keep running into our room each night 😀
I would really love to hear from other moms of twins or single babies on what worked for you best. Let me know your thoughts in the comments below.